When most people are asked what they identify as their sense of self, they rarely refer to their bodies. We see ourselves more than just passengers in the vehicles of our bodies, we have a body but we aren’t the body. Instead we often see ourselves as thinkers of thoughts, experiencers of experience with the sense of self rooted somewhere inside the mind. Seeing the world through this point of view is the result of identifying with the ego, we construct a self image that gives us a sense of who we think we are.
We see the ego at work whenever we identify ourselves with our possessions, achievements, credentials, accomplishments or even reputation. The ego is the sum of all the beliefs we hold about our personality, talents and abilities especially through past experiences. Oftentimes it is the main driving force behind the decisions we make in our day to day lives. The ego creates a mental model of how the world should be through attachment and expectations, but when reality doesn’t correlate with that mental model we suffer and experience pain.
Attachment is deriving pleasure by holding onto possessions, relationships or even thoughts. By making enjoyment contingent on an external source, we set ourselves up for suffering when it is no longer there. Additionally problems arise when our attachment to descriptions of our identity manifest in the need to always be right. This creates insecurity in response to criticism or even fear in the face of adversity. Living through the ego will restrict new experiences and limit your potential. It is impossible to accept alternate ideas and opportunities if you constantly feel threatened in their presence.
Expectations to any given situation is the largest determinant of our emotional response. When something exceeds our expectations we feel happiness, but when something falls short of what we expected we feel sorrow. If we can learn to see reality for what it is and accept that everything that happens is suppose to happen then we can learn to manage our expectations accordingly and detach ourselves from the outcome of any situation. By taking a step back from our expectations we free ourselves from the roller coaster of emotions generated by our ego and its narrow mindedness.
A wise person once said “The ego is suspicious at best and vicious at worst.” Are we human beings that have consciousness or are we consciousness that is shaped into a human being? “Ego says, “Once everything falls into place, I’ll feel peace.” Spirit says, “Find your peace, and then everything will fall into place.”
Recommended Reading: Sam Harris, Waking Up: A Guide to Spirituality without Religion.
